Ghost Of A Girl
by KateWalshLA
Summary: Bellatrix Black, a young pureblooded woman torn between the Dark Lord, her family, the war and society's expectations. A love she cannot deny, a marriage she cannot escape and a journey of becoming a "witch with prodigious skill and no conscience". Bellamort, some BB/RL and lots of Black Family drama.
1. Ghost Of A Girl

Ghost Of A Girl

"I'm the ghost of a girl  
>That I want to be most<br>I'm the shell of a girl  
>That I used to know well"<p>

Chapter 1

Bella has never loved. Love was a feeling she wouldn't allow herself to feel. In her opinion it was a weakness and therefore could not be tolerated. She wasn't like her younger sisters, seeking a husband who'll sweep her of her feet, marrying, having children and living happily ever after, she wouldn't be such a girl. Not ever.

Her hate for love might be caused by her parents always favouring Narcissas beauty or Andromedas cleverness, because not once was she herself the center of attention. Nobody loved her, so she wouldn't be as kind as to give her heart away only to have it smashed into pieces. She decided that a long time ago.

She had spend every day of her life making other people miserable, especially her family.

At home she'd break her mothers favourite vase, set her fathers books on fire, tear Narcissa hair out or just hex her blood traitor sister Andromeda until she ran crying to her mother like a stupid 5 year old.

She knew she wasn't an easy person. Most of them time her temper was unpredictable. Most people tried to stay out of her way because they knew what would happen if they didn't.

Now, after graduating she had finally joined the Dark Lord. It wasn't easy for her, surely, but the prospect of eliminating all the blood traitors, muggles and mudbloods was worth every bit of efford she put into the cause.

She, as the first and only female Death Eater, had to prove herself a lot more than any of the men. They were idiots in her opinion, all of them. She could always see the fear in their eyes when the Dark Lords voice became a low and dangerous whisper. The would look at the ground, only to avoid their Masters wrath, but she wouldn't. Bellatrix always held her head up high. She was yearning for his eyes, his face, the way his lips moved when he spoke with _that_ voice. The voice he used when scolding someone, or even better, punished someone. It made shivers gone down her spine.

But all this was only devotion of course, nothing more.

As her parents didn't know of her affiliation with _him_, she had quite a hard time convincing them to put marriage off for another few years. It also got harder and harder to hide that she was a follower of the Dark Lord. Sometimes He summoned her in the middle of the night, other times during the day when she had almost no possibility to slip from her mothers grasp. It was infuriating. Bella always had to come up with new ideas and lies to attend meetings or raids. But of course Cygnus and Druella Black did not know a thing about this until now, she had made sure the didn't. And if they would, they'd disown her within a second. She was a woman and women were to be at home raising children.

So her mother constantly tried to force her to go to social gatherings or parties to find her a decent husband. Every time she heard her parents talking about her, it was only a discussing about how or when the could find a suitor.

Bellatrix was a beauty, nobody denied that, but she was dark, dark in her mind and in her appearance. Her thoughts always crossed the boundaries other people had. That was why a lot of men weren't interested in her, but rather feared her; she wasn't like Narcissa, some shiny angel, despretly trying to find a suitor so she could be a good wife and bear a huge amount of heirs. She wouldn't ever belong to a man, be his property. That was definitely out of the question.

Her future would be different from all the others, she would be powerful, smart, feared while at the same time loved.

Her Master would reward her highly for the years of devotion, she would make sure of that. She would prove herself to be different from all the others, to be faithful all along and to be great.

The greatest witch they would ever see.

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><p>I've rewritten the first few chapters. As well as that I had to make some minor changes with the timeline and also rewrote the summery because it no longer fit. I hope you will enjoy this story. Updates will from now on be posted weekly, as I finally have a real idea where the storyline will go.<p>

_Reviews pleeease?_


	2. The One Who Creeps In Corridors

"Who is the betrayer

who's the killer in the crowd?

The one who creeps in corridors

and doesn't make a sound."

Chapter 2

It had been today that things finally started to progress for Bella. Her Master had been gone for more than 2 years now. Just a few months after she joined Him, he had to leaving to complete a task that was vital for the cause. It wasn't easy for her, trying to convince her parents that they should wait to find her a suitor. Bellatrix waited and waited and waited, but her Master never returned. He said he needed to travel because some important business, plans which needed to be fulfilled.

Bella was 19 now. Her body was still flawless, her curves perfect, but all this didn't matter. To her the only important thing was the return of her beloved Master.

He wanted to give her private lessons. Wanted to train her himself, but then he had to leave. Leave her all alone without any information on when he will come back. It was almost unbearable for her.

Tonight she had gone to the kitchen to get herself some water. It seemed that their house elf Krinky, a weird, old creature with long ears and huge eyes, was incapable of serving her at night.

She would make sure the filthy creature would get what it deserved in the morning.

When she reached her destination at last, she heard hushed voices from the parlor.

Forgetting what she wanted to do in the kitchen, Bellatrix stepped quietly into the foyer. She could see two shadows moving in the distance.

She backed away until she was sure the figures disappeared after climbing the stairs and leaving towards their left. Then she relaxed. She didn't realize that she'd been holding her breath until now in fear of getting caught.

Her wild hair tangling in front of her face and her skimpy nightdress flowing beneath her thighs, she made her way into the same direction.

A cold shiver went down her back as she climped up the stairs because of the coldness that obtained the Black Manor in those stormy winter nights, such as tonight.

After walking for some time she could hear the voices again. Bellatrix stopped dead in her tracks, slowly rounded a corner and walked further into the direction from which she could hear the people speaking.

Then she heard the sound of her fathers study closing. It had an old, heavy door, there was no way in mistaking that these two strangers just entered her fathers study.

Bella quietly tiptoed the rest of the way until she reached the door where the mysterious men must be speaking with her farther about some business. She was positive that these people had to be important, otherwise they would not be visiting Black Manor in the depths of the night.

She quickly observed the corridors another time and realized that the whole household was asleep and nobody was watching or interrupting her litte mission. It sounded a bit childish, really, but there was no other choice. She once heard her farther saying something about the Dark Lord to her uncle Orion, which meant that he'll most likely be in contact with him.

Bellatrix knew her parents good enough, they would surely serve the Dark Lord in some way, wouldn't they? After all her family was one of the most ancient and influental pureblooded family in all wizarding England and even if they weren't in her Masters inner circle, like her, they surely served him. She just knew that.

'_Toujours pur'_, that's how her family was decribed.

So the Dark Lord just _had_ to be in contact with her mother and father. Her parents believed in the importance of blood and wished all of the scum and blood-traitors to be disposed.

But there was one tiny flaw in her plan, because they seemed like they wanted people to fight for the Dark Lord, yes, but only men. No women allowed. The problem was that her parents didn't know she already was Death Eater. They wanted to marry her off to some 'repectable pureblooded suitor' and bear lots of pureblood heirs.

After about a few minutes of trying to listen to the ongoings inside his fathers study, Bellatrix got impatient.

What were they discussing? And why were they still speaking _this_ quietly? She didn't understand.

Bella desperately wanted to know what was going on inside this room. She wanted to know who these strangers were and what they were doing here at such an ungodly hour. Was it possible that the Dark Lord himself was in that room? That he finally returned to her?

She just had to know!

Bella pulled her wand out and pointed it towards the room. She would cast a spell so she could at least hear what they were saying. Maybe then she would be able to recognize her Masters voice.

But she needed to stay unnoticed, because her father would surely have her head if she was discovered. It was, after all, no proper behaviour to wander the corridors at night. And given the fact that she was also secretly trying to listen to their conversation, Bellatrix knew Cygnus would not be happy.

She opened her mouth to speak the incantation when suddenly the door burst open to reveal his father and and his guests.

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	3. Where Did You Go

"No matter how many breaths that you took you still couldn't breathe

No matter how many nights that you'd lie wide awake to the sound of the poison rain

Where did you go?

Where did you go?"

Chapter 3

Bellatrix stood, frozen, in the doorframe. She couldn't believe her eyes. Her father had a grim expression on his face and the other two were watching her curiously. She could not make out their identities for sure, but was able to guess at least one of them. Both men wore long, black cloaks and had their hoods drawn over their faces. One of them was clearly in an inferior position while the other one stood tall and proud in the center of the room.

She gazed around, only a few candles illuminated the room and shadows were covering the faces of her opponents. It was completely silent, so silent she could hear her own breathing. Her heart was racing like crazy.

What would her father tell her later when they were alone again? She was pretty sure he wouldn't dare to throw a fit in front of such important guests. Well, at least not if her assumption of one of the strangers identities was right.

He would surely punish her for interrupting them. And also for wandering through the house at such an hour, that much was clear. Would should she expect? The cruciatus curse, maybe?

Bellatrix thought she might be able to escape her fathers wrath if she could convince him that she had just been scared because she had heard voices in the Manor and had wanted to know whether or not someone had entered without permission. But no, that would be highly uncommon behaviour for her. Her father knew all too well that she is, was and will always be a troublemaker. So this excuse was out of the question. She might as well just tell him the truth, that she had been too curious to ignore the occuring voices in the corridor when she had been in the kitchen.

Curiousity killed the cat.

While her thoughts travelled for a while, the two men still remained in their position. Both of them still seemed to be staring with a mild curiousity at the ruthless intruder.

Bella quickly averted her eyes in shame.

Then she heard a noise of some sort. The man in the center of her fathers study slowly lifted his arms. He gripped the hem of his hood and began to lower it. A face as white as snow came into view. His hair was dark and slightly ruffled. His big, black orbs searched for her own and Bella's heart began to beat even faster. Those eyes, she'd recognize them anywhere.

How many nights had she waited, dreamed, pleaded to see them again. Yearned to drown in the depths of those eyes, _his_ eyes. The man who had power over her like no other will ever have. The sheer power radiating from him was enough to make her hands tremble.

She had felt so lost the last 2 years, lost and angry. He left all of them alone, abandoning his cause, his followers. She knew, deep down, that it was not like that. He never abandoned his cause or followers and she was pretty sure that he didn't intend for his trip to take so long, but she was just so angry. She had to endure 2 years of constant questions about a suitor, about a responsibility to her family name, about her being the oldest and therefore the one who had to be a good example for her younger sisters and not to mention her mother and father constantly telling her she had to behave like _'__a proper pureblooded lady'_. Right, like that will ever happen.

Bellatrix hated it. She wanted to learn more about the Dark Arts _so_ desperately, but her parents always told her it was 'not appropriate' for a woman to learn such things, which basically meant that they made sure she wouldn't get her hands on any books about the Dark Arts.

She could have spent those years training, improving her skills, but her parents were just too stubborn to allow her to participate in such activities.

If they only knew..

Thus, she was stuck in their cold, old family Manor with Cissy and Andromeda being at Hogwarts most of the time. And her parents, of course.

And as one could already guess after knowing about Bella's personality, such a constellation always proved to guarantee many fights and disagreements in The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

But right in this moment, Bella's mind was occupied with a completely different question.

Why was he here, in her house, when he should have summoned his inner circle to announce his return from such a long journey?

Did it have anything to do with her?

Right then, like he could hear her every thought, he spoke. His voice was quiet, smooth, but demanding at the same time.

"Ah, Bellatrix Black, what a _surprise_ to see you."

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	4. Everything Goes Black

"Whenever you're gone away  
>The darkness hides the day<br>Whenever you're gone the bleeding won't stop  
>It hurts 'til you come back<br>Everything goes black"

Chapter 4

Her mind was racing. She didn't know what she was supposed to feel. Anxiety, relief or fear?

Of course she was relieved that _He _was back, she had wished for nothing else to happen for such a long time, but the question was: What would happen now? Was he angry at her for eavesdropping on their conversation or was he happy to see her again?

She tried very hard to come up with a plausible answer as to why she was wandering the halls of the manor at night and on top of that practically stumbled into her fathers study when they opened the door, but nothing came out of her mouth. She was dumbfounded.

At last she settled for "Hello my Lord. Father."

"I see, you have finally found your voice. Now, may I ask why you grace us with your presence at such an hour, Miss Black? Surely you should be asleep right now."

Her heart was beating even faster now. What should she say?

"Well, I am sorry to disturb your meeting. I was in the kitchen to fetch some water when I heard voices coming from the hallway. I thought someone had gotten into the manor without permission, so I wanted to tell my father, of course."

Bellatrix couldn't tear her gaze away while talking to the Dark Lord. She was nervous, yes, but his features, his whole presence was just too mesmerizing. He had her hooked again. Not that the admiration she was feeling for him had ever vanished. But looking into his eyes again after such a long time made her skin tingle with excitement.

Yet, Bella felt a strange feeling at the same time, as if she was not alone. Like she was being watched and observed inside out, when her father spoke.

"Bellatrix, I know we might have scared you," he said with false kindness "but there is really no need for you to feel afraid anymore. So please go back to bed, it is late and we would like to continue with our affairs."

It took her some seconds to realize what her father just ordered her to do. She knew exactly what would follow in the morning. His act might convince others, but not her. His eyes, his whole demeanor betrayed him. Her father was furious. And she would definitely have to face his wrath later on.

"I am sorry father." Bellatrix whispered "I will go to bed now.". She turned to face her Master and her fellow Death Eater Lucius Malfoy who had lowered his hood while they where talking.

"Goodnight my Lord. Lucius."

Lucius nodded, while the Dark Lord only remained impassive. So she lowered her head and left the study, closing the heavy door behind her.

Alone in the corridor, Bellatrix' heart finally slowed down again. Her excitement left her and the inevitable doubts came to her mind. Was it really wise to follow and eavesdrop on her Master? Surely she would not only have to face her father, but also the Dark Lord tomorrow.

Pondering how to undo the mess she created for herself, Bella decided she would find a solution in the morning, because she was standing in a dark, cold hallway, half naked and on top of that she was already beginning to shiver like crazy.

Turning to the right where she came from, she started walking towards her bedroom. The manor was fairly big, one of the largest properties the Black Family owned, so Bella had to walk for quite some time until she reached her destination.

With the thoughts of her beloved Master still fresh in her mind, she did not really pay attention to her surroundings. She turned left a few times, then right again, knowing the way by heart.

Suddenly she heard a noise after passing the last corner. Bellatrix stiffened and slowly turned her head, but there was no one in sight. As she spun around her Masters face was directly in front of her.

He grabbed her arms and Bellas breath hitched. Her eyes widened in fear.

"Little Bella. Poor Bella. Have I scared you?"

"N-oo." she stuttered.

"No, what?"

"No, my Lord."

"Oh, I believe you lie to me. As a matter of fact I know you have lied to me more than once in this night alone." the Dark Lord scolded her, his eyes penetrating her own.

"I would never -"

"Such lies, Bella. Tsk." His grip tightened while her heart practically jumped our ouf her chest. The Dark Lord slowly lowered his his head to Bellas ear "I expected better from you." With that he pushed her away. She lost balanced and landed on the hard floor.

Feeling his cold stare upon her, Bellatrix looked up into her Masters face, her body trembling. She could already feel her limbs starting to hurt.

"Now, you will arrive at my Manor tommorow at 8 P.M. sharp. I will not tolerate tardiness or any other inappropriate behaviour from you again." With that he turned around, preparing to leave. "Oh and Bella -" he looked at her again "you better control your thoughts next time, otherwise I will not show as much mercy as I did today."

With that Voldemort apparated and Bellatrix was left alone in the dark corridor of her house.

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	5. Ignorance

"If I'm a bad person, you don't like me

Well I guess I'll make my own way

It's a circle

A mean cycle."

Chapter 5

It was around 6 in the morning and the first rays of sunlight were gleaming through Bella's window. She was lying on top of her bed, still shocked from tonights events. The Dark Lord was back, finally. She had waited for this moment for more than 2 years, though she was not so sure what was awaiting her now. Her Masters behaviour was harsh, as always, she expected nothing else. But still it excited her, her life was really going to change now.

Bellatrix turned in her bed. There were so many thoughts in her head, it seemed like sleep would just not come tonight. As she realized this, Bella got up and walked towards her mirrow, thoroughly looking at herself.

Her hair, still mussed up from sleeping a few hours ago and also being thrown on the ground by her Master, was cascading in long tresses down her back. Its pitch black colour shimmered lightly as the sun touched it. She softly curled one finger around one of her locks. Nothing had changed. She still looked the same as she did when she was 17, when her Master left.

But the Dark Lord, she knew, had changed.

When she took a look at him tonight, he seemed different. Cold, somehow. He had always been uncaring, indifferent as well as ghostly pale, but Bella noticed something new about him. The air surrounding him was even more powerful than before. She shivered only thinking about it.

Then, as she stood staring at herself in the mirrow, she heard footsteps a few corridors away. Her intolerable mother would obviously be the only person in the Manor actually getting up at such an hour. When the sun rose, her mother did as well. Something she considered not normal in any case.

Glancing first at the door and than at her reflection in the mirrow, Bellatrix decided it was time to try and sleep for another few hours before Cissy, being at home from school during the winter break, would surely wake her on her mothers orders to attend breakfast with her – _oh so beloved _– family.

Bella walked over to her bed and pulled the duvet tightly around her body, begging for sleep to come.

Though there was another thing suddenly entering her mind. She would also have her parents to answer to in the morning. _Oh dear, no._

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><p>When Bellatrix desceded the main staircase a few hours later, entering the breakfast room with just enough noise to earn an angry glare from her mother, her whole family was already sitting at the table, waiting for her.<p>

Though she would definitely not complain that she was not fetched to attend breakfast before she was ready to do so, Bella knew something was off today. The tension in the room was unmistakable.

When she looked around, her father sat at the head of the large marble table, passive as ever, giving his eldest daughter only one small glance before returning his attention to the Daily Prophet. Although it seemed like he was not happy with her. Then her mother, of course, sitting at his right with a sour look on her face as always. There was not a day in history Druella Black was not displeased with Bellatrix. Though she had to admit, she gave her every reason to be, for as long as she could remember. In her opinion she deserved nothing else, stupid woman that she was. Only caring about being the perfect trophy wife and making sure her daughters would follow her path.

On the other side of the table she saw Andromeda pulling an annoyed grimace while deliberately picking at her food. Her shoulders slacking and her hair slightly tousled, her middle sister looked like she always did in the morning.

Narcissa, on the other hand, displayed Druellas expectation of a perfect daughter. Shiny, long blonde hair, a shy smile etched onto her face while sitting straight up at the table eating her breakfast. Cissy, though, was the only one actually looking at her in a pleasant way. She might be a little naiv, but still she was by far her favourite member of the family and also the only one she could actually trust and rely on.

Forcefully striding towards her usual seat across her father and next to Cissy, Bella pulled out the heavy oak chair and sat down, helping herself to various types of food the elves had prepared for them.

It did not take long for her mother to breach the silence. "Well Bellatrix, your father and I thought we might discuss your latest behaviour. We are not pleased about it." Druella stared at her intendly, waiting for Bella to explain herself. _P__ff._

Then silence came.

"Well?" her mother pressed on.

"Well mother? What do you mean, exactly? I'm not sure I'm following."

She knew this would infuriate Druella even more. _Perfect_, she thought. Better to get her on edge before she had to actually argue with her mother.

Cygnus only stared with a grim expression at his eldest, not yet ready to intervene.

_"Well,_ Bellatrix," Druella drawled "Your father and I would like you to explain why you would wander around the Manor_ in the middle of the night_ and on top of that embarrassing your father in front of such important guests. That is _no proper behaviour_ for a young lady such as yourself."

Bella could see how her mother became more and more angry with every passing second. This was too good, she should definitely take advantage of it.

_"Well, Mother,"_ she hissed "Maybe I was downstairs to fetch myself a glass of water as _Krinky"_ she glanced across the table where her house elf winced at the mention of her name while slowly picking up a few dirty dishes "seemed not to be capable of serving me at the time."

"Still, that does not explain why you had to go to your fathers study. Anything happening in there is none of your bussiness. It does not need to concern you and you know that very well."

Her mothers tone had changed now. It seemed more cold. From the corner of her eye Bellatrix saw poor, innocent Cissy already shifting uncomfortably in her seat, staring down at her plate.

Bella only glared back at Druella while deliberately picking at her nails to annoy her mother.

Silence again. Her parents waited for her to speak.

Bellatrix sighed. "If you must know, I was merely curious after hearing footsteps in the Manor. Nothing else. I don't know why you are getting so worked up about it, mother. It's not like I smuggled a Mudblood into my chamber at night."

Druella gasped in shock, her eyes wide open.

"Bellatrix! I will not have you even suggest such- things!"

"Oh mother, do not trouble yourself. Otherwise you might get a nosebleed again." Bella smirked. This got her. Druellas mouth fell wide open.

Unfortunately, her father picked this moment to intervene. He seemed to have enough of the bickering. And as well as that, his face contorted in anger.

"I will not have you talking to us in this manner, girl! Your are to behave yourself, you already caused me enough embarrassment as it is."

At this point Cygnus Black stood at the table, gripping it with so much force Bella thought the bones in his hands might crack, his nostrils flaring.

"You disrupted an important meeting, made me look like a fool in front of the Dark Lord and your attitude is more than displeasing. It is time you marry a man who keeps you in check and I will make sure this match will happen soon."

Bella panicked. Marrying, now? No. _No. _That was not an option. Not when her Master just returned. She needed more time.

"Father, I-"

"The matter is deciced, Bellatrix. Do not attempt to argue with me." With that, her father closed the Daily Prophet, pulled his chair aside and strode towards the door, surely with his study being the destination.

Druella only smirked at her daughter in triumph while Bellatrix fumed. Angrily smashing her cutlery onto her plate, she stormed from the room.

They would not be marrying her off to the highest bidder like she was some piece of meat. She would make sure of that. The Dark Lord was back now, he would not let this happen. She was to train with him to become one of his most skilled followers, that much she knew.

And when he ruled the Wizarding World, her parents would have no choice but to bend to his wishes.

_Oh, yes,_ she thought, _when the Dark Lord had suceeded, she would finally be free._

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